think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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