Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
