I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
