for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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