Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
