you're like a bully in the Christmas story
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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