Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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