Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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