Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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