need another drink. this is the easiest way
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
