problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
