Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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