NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
