Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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