STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
