do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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