PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
