I am puke
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
