I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
