Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
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