You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
