dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize