SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
