Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
dude. I can hear the air.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
