he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
