He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
