Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
