Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
