Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
