i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize