I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
