I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
