she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
