bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
