you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
