having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
