playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
