Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
They have beer where we have blood.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
