i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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