and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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