shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
