I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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