some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
