So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
