ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
