i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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