FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
