my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just want to make out with him forever
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
