big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
