Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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